What I wish I heard before I was pregnant

“You will have a beautiful glow, and love every minute of it”

At this point I am expecting an amazing experience… what could go wrong right?? No pain, I hold my pee when I sneeze… not

Don’t get me wrong, I am forever grateful that I made a human being inside me, and I love them to death.. and I am sure there are people out their that loved their pregnancies.. but for me I wish someone told me a few more things about it… honestly

Just Eat

When I was pregnant I craved subs… all of the meat plus anything sour, and guess what I.ate.all.the.things. Don’t get me wrong I felt guilty that I was not eating more healthy, but guess what happened?? I gave birth to 3 healthy little bumbinos. Yep, 10 fingers, 10 toes. Cutest little button noses. Perfectly healthy. So girl you have a craving dig in!!

Park that butt if you want to!

I get it, there is so much to be done before the baby comes or you want to get that pile of work on your desk done, the house is a friggin mess… but hey, you earned this, you are creating a human being inside you, your body is already working over time. Take that well-earned break that you need. Sit down, eat all the things and relax.

Hand me downs are okay!

It is your first baby you want to buy all new clothes. You want your baby looking amazing in everything he or she wears. Guess what second hand clothes are amazing and I promise you a lot of it are brand name! Babies grow so fast and they will continue doing that. Like bad weeds in the garden.

You need help? Ask for it!

Do not feel guilty because you need an extra hand! Parenting is not easy, I promise you that. It is really hard being a first time mom, heck even a second or third time mom its hard. It takes a village to help raise the children, ask for help when you need it. Your feet hurt, your back hurts, everything is friggin hurts. That’s what family and friends are for.

Sexy Time!

A girls got needs. I get it you don’t like the way your body looks. Trust me neither did I. Plus sometimes I was so tired I couldn’t even get up off the couch. If you are feeling it, go for it and no, your husband will not poke the baby in eye… even though some of them might say that. Feeling that connection with your Significant other is amazing.

Where what you feel comfortable in

You want to wear those sleep pants.. do it You want to wear track pants do it. You want to splurge on maternity clothes GO FOR IT. You are already feeling extremely uncomfortable in your body why would you make it worse by wearing something that just isn’t right. DO YOU!

Pregnancy might not be the most pleasant thing in the world, or maybe you will enjoy every minute of it, we are all different. But one thing I know is that once you are holding that beautiful baby in your arms all the things that happened will just go away, the minute you see that face!

Accepting the loss of a loved one…

Today is a hard one for me…
4 years ago today my papa passed away.
He was and will forever be the strongest man I know.
He always called me his Krystal Chandelier.

Having a loved one pass is like being a part of a group that you don’t want to join.
Accepting the passing of someone is possible, but it will change you forever.
You can be strong, and look like you are holding everything together but that one thing will remind you of them and its like that feeling just comes flooding back at you all over again.

Accepting that they have passed doesn’t mean that you don’t care, or that their life wasn’t meaningful to you. Just means that you are preparing your heart to live your life to the fullest just like they would want you too. We know it is an unenviable part of life. Talking about death isn’t ever easy because the subject is painful.

On kid’s it can be really hard for them to accept it, or even understand that is happening, but they know and they see. As a parent it is even harder to tell your children what is going on, because you yourself are trying to accept it and understand it.

We think it’s best to hold off and not tell them right away but I feel like it is best to tell them the truth right away. The truth will get them to understand why you are crying and hurting, instead of them trying to figure it out themselves “why is mommy so sad was it me?” Being open about why you are so upset, will help your child mourn with you and understand how to.

Always be prepared to answer questions that might hurt you to answer. Children are still learning how to respond to emotion, how to deal with it, how to accept it, understand it. Sometimes their emotions are different then ours. Sometimes they will try and change the subject because they just don’t understand the emotion they are suppose to respond with. Don’t get mad at them for not talking about it, they are trying.

Don’t throw it at them all at once. Children take information in just a little at a time and coming at them with everything at once will just overwhelm their little minds and hearts. You’ll know how much to tell them by the questions they are asking.

Don’t worry about not knowing all the answers to everything they ask, it is okay to just say “Mommy, doesn’t know the answer to that one” Trying to come up with answers to some hard questions, while you are having trouble keeping it together yourself will be hard. It’s okay to not know all the answers.

Don’t be scared to cry, cry with them. Show them you are crying. It will help them understand that this is a very upsetting time. Let it out, crying is healthy and helps you release the pain.

Let your children grieve in their own way, let them talk about it when they want to, and listen. If they want to be silent about it let them. It is normal for a child to seem unaffected by it. Grieving is different for everyone.

Let them be apart of it the best you can, let them pick out pictures, and talk about fun memories of them. If they are going to the funeral, or celebration of life prepare them for what they will see, lots of upset people, pictures, memories. Even the casket. Explain to them about everything that they will see and hear. Try to get them to understand before they see it.

Most importantly take care of yourself. As parents we tend to keep things bottled up so that our children don’t feel the pain or sadness that we have. Children learn by example, if we show them how to take care of ourselves when all we want to do it crawl into a hole and cry, then they will understand just a little better how to take care of themselves during a critical time.