Make time, because time doesn’t wait for us.

The past few weeks, it has really hit me that time does not wait for anyone. That it just creeps up on you realizing that it goes by so fast, you blink and its 30 years later. It clearly doesn’t work that way but that’s how it feels.

Growing up it feels like you have all this time. Time to think of what you want to do when you’re older, all the time with your parents. But flash forward you are 30 and married with 4 kids of your own to raise.

You’re parents raise you to the best of their abilities. As a parent myself I have realized that is no easy task. One of the things I have learned is that the moments of reassureness, relief and pride are far in between. When you think you have everything under control something comes creeping in out of no where. It is hard to feel like you are really ‘Succeeding’ at this whole parenting thing.

As I said time doesn’t stand still as we get older so do our parents and I feel like many of us forget this. Many of us say “I am too busy to visit I will soon” Sometimes that soon never comes.

Life should come full circle. Your parents take care of you when you’re young, you should take care of them when they are older. Even if its just by visiting, bringing them tea/coffee. Just by showing them that you appreciated everything that they have done for you and continue to do for you.

You are never too old to want to make your mom proud and I am so happy that mine is proud of me. I am so happy that my mom raised me the way she did because that is helping me truck through being a mom myself. Being a strong woman.

Every day, that we doubt ourselves, they doubted themselves.

But hey we survived, we are here. Repeating everything they have taught us. I got so much by being their daughter. Learning from them, watching them is now a rippling effect with my children.

They taught me not only by teaching and telling but by just being themselves. They showed me how to be happy, how to live a productive and meaningful life. Giving us the ability to survive and thrive.

They taught me before you leave this world to make it a better place for our kids, and to teach our kids to do the same. My parents live every day doing things without wanted gratitude or praise just by doing the right thing giving to others, being their for others. Treating people the way you want to be treated.

Our elders have been through it all and we are just starting. No its not the same world and we may have to tweak it a bit but they gave us the building blocks and we need to build from it.

So much of who we are is because of them. The good, the bad, the ugly. But that all has made us stronger.

The past few weeks I have realized that time is not always there. That with a blink of an eye they could be gone. That we will wish that we did more things. That we had more time.

So make that time now. Go for that coffee. Go for that chat about god knows what. see your parents more. They went from seeing us every day, making our meals, coming to our events. To barely seeing us at all. To be honest thinking about my kids growing up and doing the same would kill me. I want them to visit me as often as they can.

So make the time. Time doesn’t wait for us.

Thanksgiving Doesn’t Have To Be Perfect!

Thanksgiving is one of my favourite holidays! Christmas and Halloween follow as well… But nothing beats the smell of Turkey and stuffing and fresh baked pie! Pumpkin pie mmm….

Turkey hand print crafts on the walls, and that one Thanksgiving centre piece that has been past down for generations in the middle of your table.

Honestly whats not to love about thanksgiving!! At the same time it can be very stressful! You want everything to be perfect more so because that one judge aunt Gladdest is coming and we all know she senses when one thing is out of place.

Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be perfect! Yes its great when everything falls in to place but lets face it, when does it ever! The turkey isn’t cooking as fast as you like it, the kids are screaming and running around behind you with underwear on their heads because they are super heroes from planet underwear and you plugged in the hair straightener an hour ago but to scared the pies wont be ready.

“I don’t have a lot of money to make a big thanksgiving I would like” Honestly half the time people make way to much food and sometimes it gets waisted. Buy what you can! Don’t go all crazy and buy all these things which sets you back on bills and on other things, keep it on budget!

You know what the kids will remember how amazing the food tasted, how fun it was to dress up in their sunday best, how great uncle gerry did his bird impressions. They wont remember that you forgot to put out the cherry sauce, or that the stuffing wasn’t exactly how you planned it to be and Aunt Gladdest can stuff it, because to the kids Thanksgiving was perfect!

They saw that you still have that turkey hand print they made in kindergarden and you put it out every year, they saw all their family members, their tummies are full! Probably ready to explode!

Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be perfect, because to them no matter what you do its prefect for them!

Don’t stress mama, you’ve got this! But first make sure to have coffee ; )

I Am Not Perfect.

I’m not perfect and thats okay…

My kid’s don’t always have matching socks.

Sometimes they eat peanut butter sandwiches for dinner.

Sometimes I forget to RSVP to parties.

Sometimes they cant find their hats or mittens

Sometimes they flat out can’t find their coat.

I don’t always check the kids folders because I forget.

Sometimes I sign things without even looking at what  i am signing.

but.. I love them.. and I promise you I work so darn hard for them. and you know what in 20 years from now they wont remember mom forgot to sign their agenda. I am hoping they remember how much I did for them to make sure they were healthy and happy and have a good life.

To The Mom Who Stays Up Late

When 9:30pm changes to 12:30am as I sit up late catching up on my TV shows, and social media and finish the next few chapters of my book that I am reading. I think to myself “Man I am going to be so tired in the morning” but these moments that I am up late are the moments that I need. The moment of silence, my ‘Me Time’.

Having a house hold of 6 can be crazy, there is always someone in any room, even the bathroom you think that is a place you can go and get a minute, it is not. Either kids are knocking at the door or just flat out opening it or husband… even the dog pokes his head through the tiny crack in the door if I don’t shut it all the way.

Yes, I am still going to have to get up, after maybe only getting 5 hours of sleep. So if surviving on 5 hours sleep and lots and lots of coffee is what I have to do, to have some ‘Me Time’ I am going to do it.

I understand that there are several articles stating you can build up “sleep debt”  it can be harsh on your health which is true, But there are also ones that state “Me Time” 

 is important too.

I am not saying you have to pick one… either have sleep or me time, that’s just the time I use. If you want to keep both have some ‘Me Time’ and get your beauty sleep then do both!!

Telling your partner that I need a minute and ask him to watch the kids while you go out, I get it..  “I don’t have time for that” “when am I going to add me time into the mix of after school activities, laundry, dishes etc.” You’re going to have to make that time. Even if it’s just going to the coffee shop and sitting at a table , having a coffee and donuts, or a walk around the street.

This doesn’t mean you are “selfish” you are allowed to think of yourself once in awhile. It’s important. Taking some time for yourself is good for your kids just as much as it is good for you.

Happy mom, Happy kids.

Surviving Christmas Shopping

I never was big on shopping, even before I had kids.

Now what I mean by that I enjoy buying stuff, I just don’t enjoy going to the mall.

All these YouTube videos and commercials about all these toys that burp, fart and even some of the actually go to on the potty. Robot dogs that you can control and they walk with you like a real dog, and even things that hatch out of eggs!

Going online and you see all these parents going nuts about all the toys that are “IN” They  pay outrageous prices for these toys, lets be honest they will either break or the kids will just get bored of them or the would rather play with the box it came in.

I remember when I was younger and we got the sears wish book and my brother and I would open it and make a huge list of all the toys that we wanted. Even those our parents would only get a few things off our list, but it was still so much fun making that list. Writing to Santa letting him know what we wanted and him listening and pulling those toys out of his bag.

That’s what I get my kids to do, they write a list to Santa… of the toys that they actually want. One it helps them with writing and spelling and it gets their imagination going and excitement to write Santa a letter. Also it helps my husband and I with knowing what to actually buy them. We can walk into the store with a list and confidence knowing what stores we can go in grab what we want and leave.

Instead of hunting down that really big toy thats in, ask your child what they would like for Christmas. Ask them to write a letter to Santa and watch the excitement on their faces. Yes their list might be several pages long, and you might not understand some of the words they are trying to spell, but it will make them happy, and hey maybe pretend to mail it and write a letter back pretending to be Santa saying “I got your letter”

It’s not about how much money to spend on your child, its how much time you spend with them.

How to survive being a stay at home mom.

I became the default parent…

you know the one that cooks every night, and cleans, and does the laundry, washes the dirty away.

I felt like because i wasn’t bringing in an actual income i needed to make being a housekeeper my full time job.

Some days i feel completely alone, yes… alone in a house hold of 6, seems impossible right?

I found the older my kids get the easier it was to find age appropriate tasks for the kids to do so that i am not doing everything and the kids feel like they are big helpers.

I found telling my husband how i feel when he gets home from work about my feelings and how my day went with the kids and don’t be scared to ASK for help… you are already a super mom all day but when your side kick comes home, ASK FOR HELP!!

People always ask me “when do you plan on going back to work?” this seems to be a question that comes up a lot…

How my kids saved my life

You know growing up there was always that one child they called ‘Troubled’ i was that child.

I would never listen to my parents, i always did the complete opposite they asked me or i would say no and then do what they asked when they weren’t looking just for them to think i was going to rebel.

I always went to parties i wasn’t suppose to,  i drove my brothers care without insurance and without a license.

I rarely did my homework and when i did it was on the bus at the last minute before going to school. I would yell at the teachers and make sure they knew my presence wasn’t a good one.

But i will stop there…

My before kids wasn’t innocent at all.

But then i had a beautiful little girl…

Who is now 7 acts like she is 17…

This little girl with her perfect little nose, and fingers and the BLUEST eyes i have ever seen, i felt like gravity hit me for the first time.

Right then and there i made a change, for myself and for my daughter that i was going to be the best mom i could ever be…

Through all those sleepless nights, and diaper changes and puke stains i felt bad… i felt like i took my parents for granted, i cried some nights thinking how much my mom cried when she had no idea where i was or how many times i told her i hated her.

I thought to myself if my daughter ever told me she hated me it would break my heart. I don’t know how many times i called my mom even now telling her how sorry i was for the way i behaved, and she always joked “i curse you with a child that acted the same way you did with your little attitude”  She forgot to remember that one day she would be having sleep overs with my mini me!

One night, Catching up on my Son Of Anarchy, folding the piles of laundry that i was just avoiding because i was so tired to even think of the word laundry let alone fold it, having a newborn is not the easiest of tasks.  I did not go to college, just high school and i barely got that. I decided right then and there that i was going to go to college, Yep this troubled child was going to make something of herself !

I started my online course. Between spoon full of Bananas and Ginger Chicken, i was doing exams, notes, reading… and i got the degree!

After my daughter, came my son 2 years later…

A couple of years after that we blended our family and my boyfriend now my husband brought in a daughter, now i have 2 daughters and a son.

I wanted to do something else with my life, I started working at a vet clinic, 3 kids, and a job my all time dream job!! working with animals, it was tiring and exciting all at the same time, being at work all day and coming home and taking care of 3 kids.

Then my we added a 4th child our son.

and we got married.

I am now a stay at home mom and i am okay with that, i get to raise 4 beautiful children and be a wife, and one day i will go back to work and work at a clinic, but for now i get to be a mom…

A lot of people and mostly people that don’t have kids say “kids will ruin your life” “Kids will change your life completely” My kids did change my life, but for the better… i found gravity through my kids..

My kids saved me.