I was 8 weeks pregnant, I heard the heart beat. I was told the heart beat looked amazing.. so why was I bleeding? Why was I in so much pain if everything looked okay. so why did I loose my baby.. if everything was okay?
The feeling of loosing a baby, no matter how far along you are. No matter how ‘formed’ the baby was is the most wrenching feeling a woman will ever go through. Going back over everything that you did once you found out you were pregnant trying to put everything together as to why this has happened. As to why my body failed me.
This is not a feeling that will ever go away, it is something that a woman will forever live with. Will forever think about.
While we are dealing with this pain. This horrible worse then heart broken. We don’t want to hear.
“Well at least it was early”
“Well I guess it just wasn’t meant to be”
“Well you can always try again”
“Everything happens for a reason”
“At least you werent THAT pregnant”
“You are so young you can try again”
It doesn’t matter if you were 6 weeks
It doesn’t matter if you were 12 weeks
It doesn’t matter if you were 16 weeks
It doesn’t matter if you were 20+ weeks
Your grief matters, Your pain matters, your tears matter, YOU matter.
I felt ashamed, I felt like a failure. No matter how much support you get from family or from friends, from your partner, the pain it just unbearable.
No it was NOT your fault.
No you do NOT need to get over it.
I just want you to know, that you ARE a Mama. You will never stop thinking and cherishing the life that you carried. No matter how hard or how difficult your journey is, please don’t feel guilty. You will forever spend your life wondering the details. What would the baby look like, would it have been a boy or a girl. Would it look like mommy or daddy. That’s normal, that’s natural. You feeling this way goes to show you how tender and loving your heart is.
I promise you, you’re not alone! Don’t be scared to talk about it constantly when you are feeling sad. You CAN do this!