I am a mom with anxiety.
No, I can’t just shut it off, No I can’t just wake up one day and it just go away.
Anxiety isn’t something that we can pick and choose what days we have it and what days we don’t.
It is not a choice.
Some days we can have the best day, we are free from it and everything is great. Some days it just creeps up on us unexpectedly and we are just left to deal with it.
We can’t just choose to be happy, or chill out when it is happening, its just not that easy, not that simple.
You will never know how it truly feels to be someone with anxiety unless you full on walk in our shoes. You will never know how it feels to be hit with darkness in the middle of something that should bring happiness, but you remembered something and it just hits you like a tons of bricks.
So before you come at us and tell us “to just chill out” please remember that anxiety is a mental illness. It is not a cold that we can just get rid of in a few days or weeks. It is not a cry for attention.
If we had a choice to not have this cloud over our heads we would. If we had a choice and could stop it from happening we would. Trust me, we would “chill out” if it were that easy.
There are so many things that I get triggered with, that just send me in a down word spiral. Which I tend to just hold in and let it unload on my husband.
Am I doing this right?
Most the time I have no idea what I am doing, I have been a mother for 10 years now and I am constantly learning new things. How do I know if the decisions that I am making are the right ones? Which bottle do I use? Crib? Co-sleeping? What foods?
what doesn’t help is everyone else shoving opinions at you like its confetti and you have no idea who is right or wrong?
- When you think this way, remember… There is no right or wrong when it comes to parenting. Everyone has different opinions they are going to be coming at you left right and center. It is your life. Keep being you!
Is my baby / Child okay?
How do I know that everything is okay? there is a new bump? or they are not walking yet? Why are they talking yet? They are not hitting all their milestones when they should be?
- When you become a mother you get this thing call mothers intuition, trust that because its rarely wrong. If you are having concerns about something contact your doctor to make sure nothing is wrong.
Mom guilt at its finest
Am I spending enough time with them? I spent a little to much time on my phone will that effect them? I am not buying all the cool toys that are in right now is that bad? Am I handling it right when they have tantrums?
- I promise you, you are enough! All they want is you. Anytime that you spend with them is enough. They know that you love them. They know that you will always be there.
Comparing myself to others
Well Nancy feeds all her kids organic foods should I?
Those kids are dressed better with all name brand clothes and some of my kids are hand me downs is that bad?
They go on fancy trips and have all the neat outdoor climbers am I not giving them their best life?
- Social media can be the devil… most of the time everyone is posting just the fun parts of their life and never the negatives. Focus on you and your family and nothing else.
There is just not enough time, they grow up so fast
I feel so guilty when I have those days that have just been so long that I am counting down till it is bed time… but they grow up so fast. Does that make me a bad mom?
- Counting down the time till bedtime doesn’t make you a bad mom, it makes you human. Motherhood is intense and some days we just need a minute and that’s okay!
So before you come at someone with anxiety and tell them to “chill out” Maybe sit down with them and ask them what is going on. Be a listening ear and let them know “Hey I have those fears too” Let them know that you are there no matter what. Don’t make them sound like they are crazy for something that they cannot help.
Let’s do our best and leave the guilt behind and let’s do our bed to make sure to let someone know that you are there no matter what.