As a mom to a child with Autism and ADHD , It is the little things that I am most excited about, the little things that are normal to some parents but make us cry with happy tears when it happens.
When they eat something that looks a little funny and don’t get upset and throw it. Or when they come and say sorry for their outburst without you having to ask them. Or when you can walk into the store without them getting upset that you can’t buy them all things.
Sometimes I feel like I am not cut out for this. Sometimes the days just seem to hard. I make a list of all the things that I know will trigger a outburst and I say “yes i’ve got this” then something completely out of left field upsets him.
For those you just had their child diagnosed one thing I know for sure is that there was nothing that you could have done differently to prevent your child from getting Autism or ADHD. I am not going to lie those there will be stress when they have a break down in the middle of a crowded area there will be stares. There will be rude statements and rude questions. There will be people that tell you “wow your child needs to be disciplined better” When at that point when they are in full break down mode, discipline would be pointless. The ones that are uneducated about these things are the ones that will come at you worse. Don’t let them get to you.
The little things are what matters the most, when you are talking to them about something and they make direct eye contact with you! Which took so long for my son to do, a lot of work and training for him to do that. Those are the days hes having a good day!
My son is 8 years old, but acts like a toddler I promise you he is no toddler size. When he has a break down in the middle of store and you have to pick that huge boy up to get him out of the situation that he is stressed about, I promise you is not easy.
With my son everything needs to be on a schedule everything needs to go as planed if one thing is out of place or canceled that could be a big deal and cause a break down. You need to have a back up plan. So if something like Ju jitsu gets canceled you need to come up with another activity fast or already have one that you can do with them. With my son Ju Jitsu is his thing, he loves it. Finding a sport that he was fully into was hard, we tried baseball, soccer, basket ball nothing stuck… but when we found Ju Jistsu he was actually focused and excited to go.
On bad days, when something triggers in him. Honestly I keep saying outbursts but that doesn’t even begin to actually explain what happens. Something simple for example when I ask my son to clean his room, which is one of his triggers if you dont say it correctly “can you clean your room please” that would set him off. If you say “can you do me a favour and grab those toys and put them in the bin” That would be okay because he knows exactly where to start and what to do. But before I figured that one out we had some bad days. He would say he hates himself, and grab a toy and start hitting himself in the face with it. Grab his door and start punching it and stomping. He yells I am so stupid I can’t do this. I found out that telling him exactly what you want him he doesn’t get overwhelmed with everything. Instead of saying “Time to get ready for school” I would say “Can you get your shoes on” Or “Now get your coat on”
I get to those that don’t understand it sounds annoying to constantly have to be very clear has to what you want to get done. To me it makes perfect sense.
Its the small things that are important, because everything I learn something new, every day is another adventure or hurdle . But I promise you it is all worth it! .