Weird things parents say…

Have you ever had those moments where you think “wow I never thought I would say that” Things you say now as a parent I never would have even thought I would say before having kids…

We all know that kids say the weirdest things but what about parents??

“Please do not sit on your sister she is not a couch pillow” His sister took all the pillows so I guess that one was on her! Haha

“Just because the dog licked you doesn’t mean you should lick the dog” In his defence he said he was just kissing the dog back

“Just because your friend told you to pee in the bucket at school doesn’t mean you should” This phone call was nuts.. honestly I had no idea what to even say! Even the teacher was trying not to laugh when she told me!

“Please stop putting peas in the potty and yelling I peed on the potty. can I have a sucker” Good try buddy! That one wont work on me!

“Please stop fingering your belly button while we are trying to eat at the restaurant” The little old lady gave me a weird look at day!

“Stop digging holes in the baseball diamond and sticking your head into it” – Me yelling at my son from the bleachers

“No you cannot lick your sisters eye ball” His sister said her eyes were dry

“Stop screwing people” – Me telling my 4 year old while in home depot he was running around with a screw driver

“Frogs don’t belong in the toilet” – I was about to go pee looked in the toilet and there chilling in the toilet was a frog

“Your penis cannot put out fires” – Me on the phone with my bank, I said this mid sentence and continued talking like nothing happened the lady at the bank died laughing… thank god she has kids, might have went differently

“No you cannot duck tape your brothers mouth because he’s breathing your air” my 10 year old daughter gets annoyed with her brother easy.

If you asked me at 17 would I be saying these things, I would probably laugh at you and say “I would never say these things” Now its just normal. Weird is the new normal!

What kind of weird things have you had to say to your kids?? let me hear them!